


the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes

by ikerestrella



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hiking, M/M, Post-Season/Series 03, because i suck at descriptions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:14:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9299618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikerestrella/pseuds/ikerestrella
Summary: Being with Even is not always a bed of roses.Set six months after the events of Season 3. They are on a hiking trip, and Isak definitely did not get them lost in the woods.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【自译】the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes/我所目睹的宇宙](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9537797) by [ikerestrella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikerestrella/pseuds/ikerestrella)



> Title from Saturn by Sleeping at Last.
> 
> A big thanks to Pandarcy for being my first reader. You're so nice and encouraging <3
> 
> And my high school classmate, roommate, and one-time deskmate. You would probably not see this but thanks for helping me do the editing, and telling me "people become insanely brave when they're extremely sleepy ". That's why I'm posting a fic at 3 a.m.

 

They are in the woods. Hemsedal, Buskerud, where there are mountains to climb, waterfalls to see, and a lot of people come here for skiing. So it's definitely not "in the middle of nowhere," as is put by his silly boyfriend who's sitting by the river bank, eyes drifting between the distant mountains and the drawing board on his knees. And Isak definitely did not get them "in this mess" due to his "overconfidence and terrible sense of direction", as is, again, put by that said boyfriend who now seems to feel Isak's attention and tilts his head to his direction. Isak quickly looks away and tries to rivet his focus on the map he's been holding for twenty minutes.

Isak admits it might be his fault that they now have to temporarily stay somewhere that is previously not on their designated route, but Even does have this tendency to dramatize things. Again, it's not "in the middle of nowhere", and although they might have been going away from the cabin they've booked instead of towards it for the past three hours, it's not that big a deal. They can still make it to the cabin in time. The forest is not too grand.

So Even has no excuse of being so mean. Yes, Isak might have ignored his boyfriend three times when he suggested he check the map again before moving on, and one time he did remember he rolled his eyes and said, "You don't trust me? I got the first place in the summer adventure program. I am like, a walking compass!" Now in retrospect, Isak probably wasn't thinking very clearly when he said that (and he didn't get the first place in the program either, he got a second). But Even should know Isak does not always mean very word he says, especially when it comes to his self-judgment. And he shouldn't just let him lead the way like that when he had already sensed something wrong. But the most important thing is, Even shouldn't have forgotten to bring their tent, so now they would have a place to rest. They would be a lovely couple nestling in a warm and fluffy tent, and it could even be a good scenario all things considered.

Now all this cannot happen because _Even forgot to bring their fucking tent._ And Isak has to read the map again trying to find another route, and Even...Yeah, he doesn't know what Even is doing, as Isak very flatly told him to "leave him alone". All he can see is Even is now holding his drawing board, seemingly basking in the natural beauty around him and letting himself be artistically inspired. So, good for him.

 

 

*

Being with Even is not always a bed of roses.

Isak has made himself aware of this from the start. He needs to prepare himself for the worst, and he needs to be strong and clear-headed and just...adult-like. There are things he needs to keep in mind—the dos and don'ts when taking meds, the date of the next therapist appointment—and there is an Even to take care of.

And Even...Even forgets to eat his diner. Even stays up all night watching movies. Even is only slightly a little tidier than he is, according to Eskild. Even rolls himself up like a cocoon and leaves him totally blanketless when he sleeps (Isak can let that pass though, as long as he is sleeping properly). Even is just...so annoying sometimes.

Two months ago, just a few days after his graduation, Even staggers back home in the middle of the night.

"Are you drunk?" Isak asks.

"What, no," Even doesn't look at him, partly because he's too guilty to meet Isak' eyes—He'd better be—but most probably because he can't even see where he is. His eyes are narrowed to the point of non-existent, as if overwhelmed by his too bright grin. "Of course I'm not drunk. You're drunk."

This is the third time this week. Isak is thinking about letting this go just like he did before, but it becomes increasingly hard to ignore how Even seems to be less and less in need of sleep, how for two weeks Isak hasn't got to wake up to him snoozing beside him. He is either busy in the kitchen, or just lying awake beside him staring at him or the ceiling. He has dark circles under his eyes now. Seem to get worse these days. And now with all the drinking...

But why would that matter anyway? It's not like Isak is his keeper or anything. Even has graduated from high school and he deserves all the happiness he has. And partying. And drinking. And Isak can handle a shitfaced boyfriend with his disgusting breath and vomit and still _love_ him. All he has to do is gently take off Even's clothes and wrap him with his arms and whisper "sleep", "have some water", "you'll be okay tomorrow" into his ears. And tomorrow is another day. Even might or might not get drunk for another time, might or might not throw up his meds which are definitely not supposed to be taken with any alcohol, might or might not be pacing back and forth two o'clock at night, might or might not be restless and fidgety all time and just going to...And Isak simply can't.

"What? Why are you staring at me like that?" Even is cracking a smile at him. He looks at Even, presses his lips and swallows, weighing the words on his tongue: _Nothing, just, you seem to be very happy recently,_ is a lost cause—how could he explain if Even asks him the obvious "what's wrong with that"—Isak couldn't be thought blaming Even for being happy; and _I'm not controlling you but this is the third time you went out and came home drunk as shit_ sounds like nothing but controlling.

So he settles on "did you have fun", the same old, just like how he did last time, and the time before that. Even lets out a long breath, "Yeah, it was wild..." He doesn't even finish his sentence before he bursts out laughing, and begins to tell Isak this friend of his who was too drunk to tell whether the person he was hooking up with was male or female.

"And you should see his face, ah, that's just priceless," Even throws his arms upon Isak's shoulders with a force that seems to be a little too much. Worryingly so—But Isak is _not_ going to worry. Even is drunk. And boys at twenty do get drunk often, and they are extremely stupid when they do. Isak should take some pictures of him now and threaten to put them on his Instagram. Even will have to pay a blowjob to get away with this.

"You're cute, "Even drawls, his whole body smelling of beer, and Isak can't help but frown when Even leans in and whispers these words into his ears, "Did I tell you you're cute?"

"Yeah," Isak turns his head aside when his boyfriend once again tries to attack him with his bad breath, and inwardly rolls his eyes. _Cute._ _Hot._ _Gorgeous._ _Gilding the object whereupon it gazeth_. Yeah, he's quoted Shakespeare at him, a few days before when he was as drunk as now. Though he would never admit, this is probably one of the few things Isak likes about him when he's drunk.

"Did I tell you I'm going to make a movie about you?"

"Yeah, that too."

"What?" Even's eyes widen with mock horror, or maybe he is genuinely terrified that his sober self has really given away his grand movie scheme, "I can't have told you everything can I? Did I tell you what that is about?"

"The boy who can't hold his breath underwater. Yeah, you've told me that as well."

"Nah...not that one. A new one," Even's brows arch up in a way that's meant to be mysterious, but the effect is sort of impaired when he can't hold himself from beaming like an idiot.

"Okay, mastermind, tell me then. "

"It's about these two guys. They are handsome. Although one is super handsome, the other is just...well, moderately handsome," Even pauses a little, something sly flashing in his eyes, "And shorter. But you can't blame the moderately handsome guy for it. That's just the way it is."

"Remind you, the moderately handsome guy is two years younger. Anything can happen in two years," Isak finds himself grinning.

"Aha, probably, but this is how it is now," Even pulls his lips slightly, as to show how sorry he is about the situation, "But, despite their inexorably cruel height difference, they managed to fall in love."

"Did kittens die of AIDS because of that?"

"No, "Even breathes out the word as a laugh, "Kittens are well alive in this one. —And the taller guy—who is super handsome by the way—is just too...tall, you know." Isak rolls his eyes, putting on one of his annoyed and bitchy looks, but he feels himself lightening up somehow.

"And whenever he wants to kiss the shorter guy, it's just so damn inconvenient you know? Like he has to bend his knees sooooo much it starts to hurt a little. And...and he doesn't mind really, because the kissing is just sooooo good he can forget about the pain. So he continues doing this, bending his knees every time they kiss, and believe me, they kiss _a lot_ ," Even looks into Isak's eyes when he says this. As if the drunkenness suddenly goes off him a little, now his eyes are teasing, soberly teasing. Isak blushes under his attention, and feels his face soften, a gentle smile twitching his lips.

"And...one day the taller guy feels his knees hurting like hell, so much more than the usual pain. So he goes to the doctor's and the doctor tells him he has this...eh..." Even pauses, eyebrows locking as if having a difficult time fishing something out of his memory, "Gonitis! Right, that's it."

"Okay?" Isak simply prompts. Now he's intrigued.

"And the doctor tells him not to bend his knees any more. It's bad for him. The taller guy feels so sad because how is he going to kiss the shorter man now? It's probably the shorter man's fault that he's this short, but what can he do, he's in love with him. So the taller man starts to back away, though he is hurting—not just his knees, his whole body and soul is hurting—and he can tell the shorter man is hurting too, but he doesn't know what to do."

"And one day the shorter man finds out. Of course he will find out. Did I tell you the shorter man got a 5 in his physics? He's a fucking _genius_ ," Even continues, while tucking Isak's hair behind his ears with a tenderness in his eyes Isak doesn't know how to handle, "Want to guess what the shorter man says to the taller man then?"

Isak looks at him for a second. Even's face is still drunkenly blushed, his chest heaving visibily, one hand starting to stroke Isak's hair while the other drooping at his side. He is sleepy and he stares at Isak with a look that is at the same time calm and intense. This is a _moment_ , and he doesn't care about being cheesy and lame as long as he doesn't let it go.

"He says, 'you don't have to bend your knees any more. I can stand on my tiptoes,'" Isak locks Even's eyes when he says this. Then Even kisses him. His breath still stinks, and his kiss is too clumsy to be called good, but Isak doesn't care anyway. He kisses back.

"You're so nice," Even's forehead is against his. Their faces are touching everywhere, and he feels Even so soft, and warm, as if just about to melt on top of him in a few seconds. And this is one of the moments when Isak becomes unhealthily protective. He wants to hold him there and take care of him in every possible way. Let no one see him. Let nothing take him away, not his school, his university, his movie dreams, his art, his friends, and sure as hell not his bipolar. No, no no no, he can't let bipolar take Even away. He will do his best to keep that at bay. Did Even take his meds today? He wouldn't if Isak hadn't reminded him. And now it's probably better not to when he's this drunk. God he isn't even supposed to drink...

Suddenly he feels Even dragging him close. Isak allows him, and feels a little confused about what he's gonna do. And he hears Even muttering, "Want to know how the movie actually ends?"

“Uh-huh?” Isak looks at his face which is as close as to be kissed without moving. They are now both lying on the bed, Isak's head pillowed on Even's chest as Even wraps his long arms around him quite unreasonably.

"The shorter man says, 'then we can both lie down.'" And Even kisses him on the lips. Isak smiles.

They can talk tomorrow.

 

 

*

It's all like a dream, what they have now. Sometimes Isak doesn't feel real.

He can't even remember why he fell for Even in the first place—he was more figuring out the fact that Even was a boy than Even being _Even_ —except that when he was falling, it made him so dizzy that he couldn't feel anything else.

And now he looks at Even, who is drawing with his head slightly bowed, looking more serious than usual. Isak likes it when he's concentrated. He's biting the tip of his pencil now, little lines dotted between his eyebrows, like a sulking child who's working on a math puzzle. Isak should be worried about getting caught staring—that would mean losing this whole fight that started with Even being mean and unreasonable and whiny—but somehow he finds himself not caring as much as he's supposed to.

Is Isak any different from six months ago, when he struggled to look into Even's eyes without blushing, or always had that butterfly feeling in his stomach whenever Even is deliberately close to him? Of course he should be doing better now after Even has been _deliberately close_ to him in every possible way, some of them not very decent. But there are times when he feels Even is still a name he saw on the notice board and searched online, a pair of blue eyes looking at him when they were sitting by the window talking about everything and nothing, a mouth he didn't know whether was going to touch his and was too scared to predict.

How did this all start then? It's like a few days ago the only connection between them was a revue group he was practically coerced into and didn't really want anything to do with, and then here they are, cuddling in bed, kissing each other goodnight, and giving each other blowjobs in shower on a regular basis. Hell, they don't even have a moment when they became _official_. They've been too busy in love for anything else, reflection, confession, or prediction—That's part of the game though, right? The only thing that matters is _now_ , this minute.

The closest conversation they've had about the topic is...well, not close enough.

"You know, I didn't really expect it to work though, the toilet-paper thing."

They are lying on the bed one day and having some random talk. For some reason they start to talk about pick-up tips and Even makes sure he does not forget to mention his great exploits in this department.

"Oh? So I'm too easy then?" Isak turns towards him, straightening up a bit, "Is that what you're getting at?"

"Maybe a little."

"What? Do you actually think I agreed to have sex with you because I'm into people who like to give toilet paper a hard time?"

"No?" Even says, "So tell me, what do you see in me?"

"You need an ego boost? Do you have a job interview tomorrow?"

"Suppose I do then."

"No," Isak turns away, "You'll just make fun of me."

"C'mon," Even nags, "I promise I won't."

It's eleven o'clock, and Isak still has school tomorrow. But Even is winking at him, and he thinks it's okay to have some quality time.

"Alright," Isak puffs, "First, you eyes wrinkle in a good way when you smile."

"Yeah?"

"And...let me think," Isak frowns, making a show of scratching his head.

After about five seconds, "Really? You have to think that long?" Even's furrows his frowns comically.

"Oh I got it. You make me the best scrambled egg ever."

"Right, and you are not getting any if you don't come up with the next one in three seconds."

Isak chuckles. He totally enjoys this. "Third, you make the cutest noises when I do this."

"Do what?"

"This."

And Isak cannot hold back a snicker when he swings his legs over and straddles on Even's thighs. Even looks at him, a little taken aback, but curves his lips as soon as Isak lowers his head and his mouth starts to trace down his stomach, eyes locked on his. He is feeling a little smug now, like the ball is now in his court, and he's staring at Even daringly, but Even looks back more like he's accepting the challenge than giving in. And Isak pushes himself downwards.

He sucks at the fabric, feeling the sensation beneath it, until it's wet and bulged. And he takes down Even's boxers and wraps his mouth around his half-hard cock. Even shudders at that, and his hands visibly tighten around the sheet. Isak's tongue sticks out tentatively at the head and swirls into the slit. He likes to see—to feel how Even is going from half-hard to fully erect, and he takes his time, licking at the head several more times, then sliding his tongue down the shaft, then up, and down again. He makes eye contact with Even whenever it's possible, and every time he does Even is looking right back at him, eyes less and less focused, until his breath becomes ragged, and he can't help himself arching up, and he starts to groan.

And it spurs Isak on, every time he hears him moan, like he's finally letting it go. _I'm doing this to you._ Isak thinks as he swallows down, feeling his mouth full of Even, musky and bitter. And his eyes are full of Even, his ears are full of Even. Even's whole body is shaking, and he wants to speed up, suck harder and get closer. Even's eyes roll back, and he inhales sharply. He's no longer looking at Isak, he probably forgets Isak's existence, his physical existence, for they are now somewhere else, they don't belong to this world.

He nuzzles against Even when everything is over. His hands are buried in Even's hair—that's Even's thing, but he's somehow picked it up—and they exchange sloppy kisses while listening to each other's breathing.

And then Isak leans over, one hand cupping Even's face, and murmurs, "Fourth, you make me want to do this the first day I see you before I even know what it means," he takes some time to tangle his legs with Even's and continues, "And I don't see anything _in_ you. I just see you. And there it is."

Even looks into his eyes, "And there it is."

Then he pulls him slowly towards him and gives him a lingering kiss.

"Just for your job interview," Isak tilts his head.

"Thanks for that," He feels Even's hands tighten around him.

 

 

*

They are in their apartment. Even is lacing up his shoes, as Isak can see from his periphery when he is trying/ pretending to focus entirely on his laptop.

"Just a couple of friends. One is leaving Oslo for college, you know. It's sort of a see-off party. Will be home real quick," Even said fifteen minutes ago while kissing his cheek.

And that's it. He can't act like nothing is happening anymore, like Even isn't bonding too much with alcohol these days, like he is not going to all these parties just so he can drink without Isak seeing. He never drinks when it is only they and the other three boys having a pregame. But the look on his face when he sees Jonas sip his cocktail, or Magnus wrap his mouth around the straw on his vodka—the craving is too transparent there.

Now Even is giving him a goodbye kiss—as their disgustingly sweet custom—first on the forehead, then on the cheek. That's how Even is—making sure there's nowhere unvisited before moving on to his lips. And when he's finally at it, mouth already brushing his, Isak shifts away.

"What?" Even sighs and asks.

There is no way to sugarcoat it. Even would see right through it and probably feel more like he was being babysat if Isak can't even show he's worried without pussyfooting. But he can't say the truth, either. He can't risk it. And once again his brain is telling him to drop it. Even has been out drinking three times this week, and nothing serious happens. He can handle another time. They don't need to have that talk right now, not when Isak is still too terrified of what might happen. Even is going to kiss him, so let him kiss him. Everything is perfect with a kiss.

"Nothing, just," Isak tries his normal voice, "Don't be home too late. I'll probably be asleep then."

Then he sees Even frown, and he knows his try wasn't very impressive. Even shoots a glance at the clock, then switching back to Isak. He takes a breath before asking, "You don't want me to go right?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous, why would I think that?" Isak regrets it the moment he blurts out, far too quickly to convince anyone in the world that he isn't lying. He really should brush up on his lying skills. He's too rusty to be the world's best liar now.

After a prolonged silence where Isak's eyes are wandering uneasily between the man in front of him and the floor, and Even is putting on his seriously thinking face, Even eventually starts: "Okay, so, let me guess, these are the reasons I came up with why you didn't want me to go. So tell me if I'm guessing right."

Isak hums, a little surprised, and waits for Even to continue.

"First, you are jealous now I've graduated and you still have one year to go."

Isak rolls his eyes, and turns his face away not to see Even's annoying smirk.

"Alright, then second, you are afraid someone is going to steal your charming precious boyfriend."

"That's it, I'm not doing this anymore," Isak brushes his hands away which he just noticed were holding his. His boyfriend does have a way of getting him. But all of a sudden Isak feels the weight on his chest has visibly disappeared, like a minute ago he was still cursing the world for leaving this shadow that is constantly looking down on them, and now they are teasing and bantering and Even is annoying him in a way that makes everything seem so normal, so long-lasting.

Probably that's why Isak has a change of thought, "Okay, I'm telling you," he takes a long breath, as if bracing himself. Even is looking at him in a way that is suggesting he cares about every word that is going to be out of his mouth. "I'm...I'm just worried, okay?"

"Worried how?" Even's voice is soft.

"Just...you know, all that drinking...and you forget to take your meds a lot...I know it's probably not serious, I mean, you've forgotten taking meds before and nothing happens, so...It's probably nothing. I'm thinking too much."

"And...you don't want to tell me you're worried about me, when it's...actually quite sweet of you?" The snicker on Even's face is so affectionate and shining and it's too unfair when Isak is trying to have a deadly serious conversation here.

"I just...I don't know, okay? I don't know if I should be worried. You are having fun with your friends, and that's great, you're supposed to. And I know taking meds is such a nuisance, and it's so unfair to give up drinking—or smoking—because of that stupid shit."—God, why did he bring _smoking_ into all of this when there was already enough trouble? "—And I...I don't want you to feel like I'm controlling you all time, which I'm not! I just...I just can't help thinking about things," his voice starts to quaver.

Even is looking down. Isak can see he's biting his lips, but he can hardly know what that means. He has said too much, he has given away too much, and he feels hollow, like there's a hole in his stomach where all his silly fears and worries used to piling up for months— _Is he alright? Has he taken his meds? Would it be okay if I told him to put down that joint? Am I controlling him now?_ Those thoughts are far from taking him over, they are buried deep, and Even is still undoubtedly the best thing that's ever happened to him. But sometimes in the middle of the night when Even was clearly having a restless dream and kept tossing about, eyebrows bitterly knitted, and Isak would have to hold him and kiss him and say soothing words to him so he can go back to sleep; or when Even was suffering from the side effects of the meds and looked so pale and it made Isak's heart ache so much, these thoughts would come back and haunt him. But the hardest part is that he can never tell Even all this. Even's going to feel himself a burden, he's going to feel so guilty, and he would leave him...No, Isak would rather have these troubling thoughts permanently to himself than letting that happen.

Then Even raises his head, one hand cupping Isak's chin, while the other touching his right eyebrow fondly. Isak knew Even has a thing for eyebrows—It's clearly not surprising considering how much he likes to raise his own. And he goes into his room—their room. When he reappears, there is something in his hand.

He hands it to Isak. "My secret stash," he says while flashing a smile that's both suggestive and so, so gentle, his eyes glittering, and they are looking at nothing but Isak. And then, palms spreading out, "I'm all clean now, I promise."

"What...does it mean then?"

"It means...it's at your disposal now," Even shrugs, a nonchalant twitch at the corner of his mouth.

Isak doesn't know what to think. "You...No, it's your stuff. I can't take it. And you don't have to do this... for me."

"I'm not doing this for you. It's bad for my health, doctor's order, remember?" Even says, "So would you be kind enough to make sure I survive and thrive?"

"Oh-kay..." Isak is still a bit unsure. He looks down at the bag of powder in his hands, and tries a smile at Even. Even is standing closer to him now. He can feel his breath on him, warm and reassuring and making him want to bury his head into his neck.

"And," Even clears his throat, "Would you like to go to the party with me? So you can keep this stupid jerk who has zero self-control with drinking out of trouble? You have met some of my friends there already, and I'm sure you'll get along with the rest."

And this. Isak feels himself warming up and for a moment he wants to cry. That hole in his stomach, where all his worries and fears were emptied out, is just filled. And now he feels complete. Even is opening up to him. He's showing him the ropes. He's saying, _this is the way I want you in my life_. No, Even is not doing this for _him,_ or for _himself_ , not entirely. He's doing this for _them_. And this is how things should be. Even doesn't have to bend his knees, and Isak doesn't have to stand on tiptoes. They can just both lie down, and be completely chill.

Funny story how he's supposed to be the mentally stable one in this relationship and now it's Even who's calming him down.

So maybe he can still be a child sometimes. And yeah, he will always be two years younger than his boyfriend, so he would probably have to allow himself to be a helpless and confused kid once in a while. And Even will come to him. He will take his hand and guide him out of whatever is damping his face.

 _Minute by Minute._ They are in this together.

 

 

*

He feels something hits him.

A paper plane. He instinctively turns his head. Even is not looking his way. His entire attention seems to be fixed on his drawing board.

He unfolds the plane, and tries to hide a smile.

 

 

*

They sky is increasingly orange. There are rosy shadows spilling out from the undulating hills, cast on the smooth surface of the lake, as Isak sits down by it.

"Better not discard your masterpieces so randomly, " Isak says, "They might be worth a fortune some day."

"They might," Even raises one of his eyebrows, and puts down his pencil, "Don't think it's very imaginative?"

"A compass with feet. Yeah, very funny," Isak takes another look at the drawing. Usual Even style, two universes, noting "compass" beside the sketch in case the world fails to understand his complicated art. Isak should be a little pissed at him for making that joke again, but he thinks he's past that now. And he really can't keep being angry with Even when he's written "in this universe you are still my boyfriend even if you are not a compass" at the bottom of the paper.

"I...I want to apologize for being...you know. I wasn't myself," Isak says quietly.

"Really?" Even smirks. What is there to smirk about?

"Yeah, I...I don't know what got hold of me. I'm sorry."

Even looks amused, "Remember the one who said he was the master of holding breath and lost to me in five seconds? I'd say it's perfectly _yourself_ when you didn't live up to your self-proclaimed hiking skills."

"Are you seriously doing this?" Isak's face crinkles in disbelief, "When I'm trying to be the grown-up here and make up with you? And you know why I lost, you cheating fucker."

"Yeah, and guess what, I don't regret a thing for it."

"Hopeless, diehard cheating fucker," Isak says, and smiles possibly a little too fondly than appropriate.

A moment of silence, and he finds himself asking, "Do you think we would ever get here if that didn't happen?”

"What? If you didn't boast yourself of being a walking compass?"

"Shut up, you know what I'm talking about," Isak nudges Even's shoulder before he realizes he has already sat this close to him.

"I remember a wise man once said everything that can happen is going to happen."

"Now that's plagiarism _and_ cheating, Mr Bech Næsheim," Isak laughs, "Seriously though, do you think we can still be...together if you didn't kiss me in that pool?"

Even pouts his mouth like he's seriously considering the question, "I tried to kiss you twice, and I made it the second time, so I'd say I would very likely give it a third go if I unluckily screwed up again."

"You didn't screw up. Noora screwed it up. God, I hated her for a minute that day."

"Yah, I know the feeling." They both give a slight laugh after this.

"But what if it was something else, something else that didn't happen so we didn't end up together?" Isak shifts where he sits, "Like, what if you never showed up at my door that day?"

"What if you never sent me that text?"

"You can't answer a question by asking another one!" Isak exclaims.

"No, what I mean is, I _would_ show up at your door if you'd sent me the text, that's a given. So your question is invalid, Mr Valterson," Even says.

"But what if you never gave me that drawing, so I wouldn't be texting you that day at my apartment? And what about the one before that, the one you put in my pocket? "

"It's getting a little repetitive now you know."

"I know," Isak giggles, "But seriously, what's your deal with giving me drawings anyway? It's just...not how people do things today."

"You liked them though, didn't you?" Even raises his eyebrow at him, knowingly, but now is probably not the best time to talk about how _much_ he likes Even's drawings.

"Yes, but it did take you a week to reply to my text, so."

"Yeah, I know. I'm much quicker this time aren't I?" Even leans in, and Isak can feel his warmth.

"Low starting point," He rolls his eyes. "And I forgive you. Just like how I did last time."

"Uh—" Even grimaces, "You threw yourself on me, kissed me and groped me all the way to your bedroom after about five seconds you'd seen me, remember? So 'forgive' is probably an understatement here."

"You're just trying to ruin every moment for me aren't you?" Isak scowls, "Are you wishing for a break-up or something, for if that's the case I can just leave here with my map, and you'll probably starve and there will be wild cats coming to eat your body."

"Hey, that's harsh. I'm sorry. Please don't break up with me, I love you."

"You are just saying this because you don't want to be eaten by cats."

"Yeah, that's also true. But you know I do," Even says and kisses him, and he forgets about anything else.

 

 

*

They arrive at the cabin when it's late.

It's good tonight. Everything smells fresh, and looks nicer under the dim and shining stars. They talk and kiss, making silly jokes and never quite managing to keep their hands off each other. Even tells him about an art project he's going to finish before college starts, and Isak listens to him. He's not an art person but he understands the sparkle in Even's eyes. The moonlight feels like the blue-and-white quilt on their bed, and the universe is a room of their own.

The universe, and the infinity of it.

That used to fascinate Isak so much, the sense that the future is already written, but in an infinite variety of ways, the uncertain certainty of it, the ultimate paradox of everything. It's a captivating idea in his scientific mind, and somehow it makes him feel lighter, more secure, like instead of trekking through time, time is pushing him forward to a preordained destination.

He's still fascinated by it though, but with a little twist, the twist that sometimes throws his world off center and works him up a little, the twist that makes him feel that among that infinite variety, there are some universes better than the others.

Now that twist is kissing his neck.

**Author's Note:**

> I started out writing snippets on the subway and it turned out to be this...thing. As usually a translator I never thought I would write a fic myself. But here it is. Guess this is what SKAM has done to me. English is not my first language, but this fic is my first fic, so...Anyway I'm so grateful you made it though the whole fic. You are so nice:)


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